As we consider a change, we often get stuck in a place of ambivalence.
This is when the pros and cons are pretty equal so there is no real push to move forward. Ambivalence is a normal part of the change process.
But there is something you can do to help push yourself through this part of the change process.
Use the acronym DARN to talk yourself through the change and find the clarity you need to make the change.
D – Desire
A – Ability
R – Reasons
N – Need
Desire – What do you want to accomplish? Take ownership of the change. Think about how you would feel: joy, happiness, pride, etc.
Ability – How likely is it that you can accomplish this change? Rate your confidence on a scale from 1 to 10. If the rating is on the low side, think through ways to improve that rating and increase your likelihood of success.
Reasons – What is good about making the change that you Desire? As you think about the benefits of the change, you increase the connection to it and the ‘pro’ side of the ambivalence. This also accelerates your motivation for the change.
Need – What needs to happen? Define what steps to take in order to make this happen. Do you need additional resources (ex: coach, gym membership, priority shift)?
Using this acronym will help you put the pieces together so that you can move forward with the change you desire to make.
Another tool that you can use is called a decisional balance exercise. Like a typical ‘pros and cons’ list, you identify the pros of making the change and the cons of making the change.
What makes this exercise different is that you also create a list of pros and a list of cons for NOT making the change.
Looking at the change from this perspective provides additional insight and impact for the change that you are looking to make.
People can stay in ambivalence for days, weeks or even years. Until the pros outweigh the cons it may feel like you’re going in circles.
Our coaching philosophy is habit-based. It focuses on the changes needed to eat, live and move better. We work with this every day.
When you are ready for your next change related to health and fitness, we would love to be your partner to guide you through the change and to provide the support you need for success.